Jack's Goodbye
by Foreverwolf
Summary: A thousand words never spoken in truth can stain a soul darker than one word spoken in falsehood. Warning: Hint of slash, nothing graphic, just statements.


AN: Heh heh heh. Bet very few of you will recognize the song in this fic!

Um, Slash, nothing graphic, just statements. If you're uncomfortable with even the hint that Jack and Daniel are together as a couple, then move on. Uh, as a matter of fact, you probably shouldn't read _any_ of my stories.

This was one of my first Stargate SG-1 FanFics, and was written years ago. It is also my first and most likely LAST songfic. I shudder at it.

Oh, and Meridian Spoiler.

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Jack's Good-bye

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Jack sat back in his chair as Daniel passed out, wishing he could cry the tears that had gathered in his heart. This wasn't right. His team mate, his best friend, and his lover, lay here dying, and the best he could come up with was 'I admire you'? 'Don't ask, don't tell' was restricting him from showing the feelings that lay bubbling beneath the surface.

A thousand regrets floated through his mind. All the things he'd never said to Daniel. All the chances they'd never taken. For what? A career? A bunch of politicians too busy trying to leech power from something they didn't understand? A planet's whose population that seemed to be insistent on destroying themselves? Daniel had given his life to save millions of Kelownans who would be killed by their government's military policies in the not too distant future. Had hidden what should have been a joy for the sake of another man's job and reputation.

He hated to watch his lover suffer. A part of him wished this were already over. Another part of him begged Daniel to pull another miracle out of his hat, and not give up. Hate for the Kelownans rose up like bile at the back of his throat. For a moment, he vowed to kill each and every one of them. Shame came next. That would make Daniel's sacrifice pointless. Daniel believed any human being was worth saving.

Jack blinked back the tears. Admired him? Hell, yes. And respected him. And loved him. But he'd never told Daniel that. Daniel had said those three precious words to him once, on their first night together. Jack had responded by making love to him, but never saying it back. In the year and a half, Jack had never let those words leave his mouth. Not because he hadn't felt it, but because he knew that someday, when his career progressed, he'd be leaving Daniel behind. At the time, it hadn't been fair to lead Daniel into something that couldn't last. He knew Daniel had understood, in that silent way of his, because he'd never repeated them.

He felt a moment's envy that Carter could cry those tears, and silently begged her to cry for both of them. Jack closed his eyes, and looked away. He sang the words to himself that he couldn't say aloud. Daniel had always loved it when he sang. It had always earned him that flash of a smile that carried in it all the radiant beauty in Daniel's soul.

_I close my eyes  
And I can see  
The day we met  
Just one moment and I knew  
You're my best friend, do anything for you  
We've gone so far, and done so much  
And I feel, like we've always been together  
Right by my side, through thick and thin  
You're the part of my life, I'll always remember. _

_The time has come  
It's for the best, I know it  
Who could have guessed that you and I  
Somehow someday we'd have to say goodbye _

Jack stood in front of the glowing gate, facing his lover's... what? Spirit? Essence? Daniel seemed sad, infinitely so, but determined.

"So, what? You're just giving up?"

Daniel smiled patiently at him. "No, no, not giving up."

Jack knew the time for all his confessions was now, if there were ever to be any. He looked up, and readied himself to bare his soul, as he should have done a year ago. Daniel smiled at him again, a brief flash that carried a wealth of understanding, patience, and love. Jack was awed, and humbled by the knowledge in that smile. Daniel knew, all of it. Everything he could never say, everything he wanted to.

"I'm going to miss you guys."

"You too."

Jack watched his lover leave, and offered from his heart the rest of the song he had been silently singing in the infirmary.

_You've helped me find  
The strength inside  
And the courage to make my dreams come true  
How will I find another friend like you  
Two of a kind, that's what we are  
And it seems like we were always winning  
But as our team is torn apart  
I wish we could go back to the beginning _

_The time has come  
It's for the best, I know it  
Who could have guessed that you and I  
Somehow someway we'd have say good bye _

Daniel stopped and turned for a moment, a small smile on his lips, the slightest nod of his head. For the barest second, Jack could hope that Daniel, as always, had heard his heart and soul, if not his voice.

_Somehow today, we have to say good-bye. _

Daniel turned back, and entered into the Stargate, leaving on an adventure that would be everything the brilliant and curious young man could ever hope for. Letting him go was the last thing Jack could give his lover.

"Love ya, Danny. Good luck."


End file.
